


ignorance is bliss

by Stackthedeck



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode 181, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Martin stays behind at the Upton House, Non-Linear Narrative, but it just makes the angst worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stackthedeck/pseuds/Stackthedeck
Summary: “Good morning,” Jon yawns, one of the deep slow yawns that mean he’s slept well. He hasn’t yawned like that in years. Not since he became the archivist.Martin gathers his boyfriend in his arms, the movement is slower than they’ve had the luxury of for a long time. “Are you alright?” He presses a kiss to his Jon’s forehead.“Yes,” Jon breaths the word like it might break everything. “Yes,” Jon says again, “yes, we’re safe.”“We’re safe.” Martin squeezes Jon closer. “We’re together.”
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	ignorance is bliss

Jon was traveling with someone. 

“Who?” Jon says to himself. He does a lot of talking to himself these days. Maybe days are too small or too big. Time is different.

 _Martin_ , The Eye supplies.

“Martin,” Jon repeats. The tape recorder is in his hand. It’s been there for a while or not long. Time is different.

The Eye supplies him with more. The memories of Martin rush over him like water, the knowledge cool and soothing. “I’m traveling with Martin,” Jon drinks in.

“No,” Jon says, tape recorder whirling, “I _was_ traveling with Martin.” Time is different.

“Where did he go?” Jon looks around. Martin leaves when he gives a statement so maybe he’s just wandered off. Jon sees all of the domain, all of the wasteland, he sees all. But he can’t see Martin.

 _He left_ , The Eye gives him.

“Oh.” Jon waits for more from The Eye but nothing comes. “Will he be back?”

 _He left_ , The Eye feeds him.

Jon pauses his traveling. He remembers Martin. He remembers that Martin didn’t like statements but he’d always come back after a statement. 

Jon just needs to do another statement and Martin will return.

…

“Good morning.”

Jon opens his eyes and sees sunlight, real sunlight, hitting Martin’s face. His freckles glow even under the layers of grim and his hair has a bedhead fluffiness even though it’s been matted for months. His eyes are rested and his smile is happy even after everything.

“Good morning,” Jon yawns, one of the deep slow yawns that mean he’s slept well. He hasn’t yawned like that in years. Not since he became the archivist.

Martin gathers his boyfriend in his arms, the movement is slower than they’ve had the luxury of for a long time. “Are you alright?” He presses a kiss to his Jon’s forehead.

“Yes,” Jon breaths the word like it might break everything. “Yes,” Jon says again, “yes, we’re safe.”

“We’re safe.” Martin squeezes Jon closer. “We’re together.”

…

Jon finishes his statement. It was a poem. 

“Martin loves poems,” Jon says to himself, or maybe the recorder. There’s not that much difference anymore. Everything, every word, every thought goes into the archive.

Jon waits for Martin. Martin would make a joke or find some levity in all the fear. So Jon waits for Martin.

“Where’s Martin?” Jon says to himself, or maybe the recorder.

 _He left_ , The Eye pushes into his head.

“Will he be back?”

_No._

“Martin always comes back after a statement,” Jon says to himself, or maybe the recorder, “He doesn’t like them so I wouldn’t force him to hear them but I always let him know when I’m done.”

Jon recalls all the times Martin came back. All the times Jon had to archive all the fear and misery in a domain and Martin came back and he didn’t feel those things anymore.

 _He left_ , The Eye pulls from his head.

Jon keeps moving. He just needs to do another statement and let Martin know when he’s done.

…

“So you really can’t see anything?”

Jon stops, fork midway to his mouth. After they sat down at the table, they realized how hungry they’d been. Neither of them thought to slow their eating to speak. Martin holds a cup of tea and the sunlight, real sunlight, shines off his glasses.

“I can see you.”

Martin blushes. “You know that’s not what I meant,” he chuckles but squeezes Jon’s hand tighter.

“I don’t know anything about this place.” Jon tries to smile but it turns into a grimace.

“Well-” Martin rubs his thumb over Jon’s knuckles “-ignorance is bliss, I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” This time Jon does smile. Martin goes back to eating but the food doesn’t sit right in Jon’s stomach. He’s hungry but not for food.

…

“Statement ends.” The Archivist holds the recorder. He presses the stop button but the tape whirls on. 

“Martin!” The Archivist’s voice carries over the wasteland. “I’m finished, you can come back now!”

The Archivist waits.

“Martin?”

 _He left_ , The Eye says.

The Archivist waits, this isn’t enough information. He needs more information

“Why did he leave?” The Archivist holds the recorder.

 _He left you_ , The Eye says.

“Oh.” The Archivist holds the recorder.

 _Oh_ , The Eye echoes.

Jon files through his memories. He has so many, so many he didn’t even make. There’s one he can’t see of a sunny day and a big breakfast and a last hug. But what he can see is the Panopticon.

…

“Ah, you are off, then?”

Martin and Jon stand hand in hand in front of the door. A dread is building in Jon’s stomach but also an excitement that matches how he felt when they first stumbled into this place. He can’t stomach any more ignorance, he needs to know.

“Yes, uh…” Jon reaches for the door but Martin turns around.

“Thank you for all your hospitality.” Martin smiles and the sunlight, real sunlight, makes his freckles glow. Jon doesn’t want Martin to leave.

“You are sure you won’t stay a little longer? You’re more than welcome.”

Jon is about to collapse. His vision swims and his head pounds. He needs to see. “Maybe we should stay.”

“What?” Martin sputters, “Jon, look at the state of you, I don’t think we can stay any longer.”

“Maybe you can.” Jon lets go of Martin’s hand.

“I’m not leaving you.” Martin tries to grab Jon’s hand but he steps away.

“Don’t think of it as leaving,” Jon says with a weak smile, “think of it as keeping an eye on things I can’t. This is a blindspot and if we’re going to fix the world, I need your help.”

“I can’t stand the idea of you being alone out there.” Martin grabs Jon’s hand and Jon lets him because he’s too tired to fight it or maybe he wants to be held.

“And I can’t stand the idea of you being out there when you could be safe.” Jon presses his forehead to Martin’s and closes his eyes. For a moment, all the weakness fades away and he feels peaceful. “Please, stay.”

“Okay.”

Jon opens his eyes. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I love you.” Martin presses a kiss to Jon’s forehead, pulling him close and holding him tight.

“I love you too.” Jon steps away. The door opens and he’s gone.

“That was so touching.”

Martin turns around and sees Annabelle Cane. She sits in a chair knitting a long scarf. She pats the chair next to her but she doesn’t stop knitting. Martin sits because it feels as if he doesn’t have a choice.

“What a noble sacrifice.” Annabelle doesn’t look up from her knitting.

“It’s not a sacrifice.” Martin watches her loop and knit together the yarn.

“Oh, but it was.” The yarn is an off-white, almost shimmering in the sunlight. “To let himself trudge through the waste all alone. And you let him.”

“He’s coming back.” Martin has never seen yarn like that.

“Oh?” Annabelle knots the last stitch. 

“Of course, he wouldn’t leave me.” It’s not yarn she’s knitting with.

“This place is hidden from the Eye.” Annabelle holds up the scarf. It trails for ages over the floor, must have taken years to make. “How will he find you, Martin?”

“Oh god.” Martin’s face is the same shade as Annabelle’s scarf. “I have to go after him.”

Annabelle lets Martin get up. She lets him grab his bag. She lets him put his hand on the doorknob.

“You’re not an avatar are you, Martin?”

Annabelle lets Martin open the door.

“You’d be alone out there?”

Annabelle lets Martin hover in the doorway.

“You won’t find him in time.”

Annabelle lets Martin close the door.

“What have I done?”

Annabelle lets Martin cry. She hands him the scarf to dry his eyes.

“I think I’ll do a jumper next.”

…

The Archive stands before the Panopticon. Everything, every word, every thought goes into the archive.

“Can I do this alone?” Is recorded in the Archive.

 _Yes_. The Eye knows.

The Archive can’t see inside the Panopticon. It’s the last blindspot. No. There’s another.

“Where is he?” Is recorded in the Archive.

 _Inside_ , The Eye misunderstands.

“Where is Martin?”

 _He left_ , The Eye is wrong.

“No,” Jon says, “He stayed.”

 _He left you,_ The Eye can’t see.

“No,” Jon says, “I left him.”

 _He left you_ , The Eye is closed.

“No,” Jon says, “I love him and he loves me.”

 _Martin is gone_ , The Eye is blind.

“No,” Jon says, “I’m going to end this for him.”

Jon stands before the Panopticon. He will feed the Eye no more. He is going to end this. He drops the recorder and walks inside.

…

Jon feels better. He can see again.

“It would have been nice to stay.” Jon pauses. Is he talking to himself now? 

Jon pulls the tape recorder out. Maybe he can record himself so that he can tell Martin what happens when he gets back. 

“I’ve got a job to do, Martin,” Jon says to the recorder.

Jon keeps walking, the Upton House fading further from his view.

Jon stops. He turns around. It’s gone.

“It’s, er… going away. That peace, the safety, the memory of ignorance…” Jon says to the recorder. It offers no comfort. “What was it like?”

 _It’s gone_ , The Eye answers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it to the end, I hope you enjoyed! I tried out a different style of writing in this fic, please tell me what you think. was it abstract and weird in an unnerving way or was it just overly simplistic? You can follow me on tumblr at stackthedeck, same as my username here, and check out my other magnus archives fics if you're looking for some fluff to balance out the angst of this fic.


End file.
